Building a relationship with God has been an amazing experience for me. Mainly because the feeling I receive daily empowers me to keep going. I now know that there is a difference between the day that I wake up and go about my normal routine too busy to stop and pray, too busy to stop and write and too busy to stop and say anything to God...on that day I feel overwhelmed, stressed, confused and just completely all over the place! But the days that I consciously make time for God my day just seems to go by smoother with no issues.
Lately, I started feeling like I was in this "glass box"... where I can see what I want, I can see what I need, I can see how to get it, I can see what I need to do to accomplish it but for some reason I can't get outside of the glass box. I envision myself slamming on it, kicking it, hitting it with all my might and watching it shatter to pieces... BUT because I shattered it in MY timing...because I broke it in MY timing, because I didn't WAIT for God to move on my behalf. I broke the glass box too early and now every step I make I cut myself and bleed, every step I make is hard, stressful and scary. Every time I move left or move right I continuously get stuck with more pieces of glass and continue to bleeeed!
So, what I realized is that I am in this glass box for a reason... yes I can see on the outside, yes I can see all my wants and dreams but I have to WAIT! When God opens that glass box it will descend on each side calmly, smoothly and without hesitation...it will open up and I will be able to step out onto clouds. Every step I make will be easy, every step I make will be light and effortless. So, this glass box I am in...is keeping me safe from years of heartache, failed dreams, money loss, loss of purpose, loss of ideas and creativity... ALL because of hurt and pain from not waiting on GOD!
As I was writing in my prayer journal this morning, I started thinking...
What do I need to do to prepare myself so that I can be READY when God chooses to lower the sides of the glass box?
My spirit said Well that's an easy answer Shantia...
"What does your relationship look like?"
"Is it a church going only relationship?"
"Is it a religious do things this way, say things this way, dress this way relationship?"
"Is it a I thank you God when everything is going good relationship?"
"Is it a I pray before I go to sleep, so at least I'm trying relationship?"
The more and more I thought about that question the more I realized that I need to continue to build my "relationship" with Christ. My relationship needs to continue to grow, needs to continue to develop. My relationship needs to be BOLD, my relationship needs to be SOLID! I'm talking about A1!!! My relationship needs to be unshakeable... needs to be unbreakable. I need to "Not be a Fan of Jesus but a Follower of Jesus".
You know how some relationships you have with people you are BOLD about telling people like "Yep, that's my MAN"..or.."Yep that's my Husbannnd"...We boldly talk about our significant other or children like "My SON accomplished this"...or "My Daughter won this"... We speak boldly and with PRIDE about people that we have a SOLID relationship with.. So why don't we talk that proudly about Jesus?!
The relationship I am building is getting stronger because my BOLDNESS is getting stronger! No longer do I hesitate saying JESUS... no longer do I cover up saying GOD! All because of what someone else may think, all because of how someone else may look. Mannnnn, what I see on the outside of this glass box is Sooooo BIG, So Powerful, So Majestic and So Fabulous... what Jesus held my hand through and walked with me out of was Sooooo Hard, So Painful, So Scary and So Empty that I wouldn't DARE hesitate to say HIS name! That's what GOD wants... For us NOT to be afraid to say HIS name!!
It seems easy to say GOD but to say Jesus is like ummmm...yeah him..that's the name... BUT WHY? Why is it so hard to say HIS name... If we believe in God, If we are thankful to God, If we are Grateful to God, If we believe in God then when we say Jesus...we MUST know that God is getting Glorified, God is getting the Praise, God is getting the Recognition!
So, Do we stand there looking at what God has done, what God is doing, and what God will do sitting inside of the glass box and simply wait for somebody else to be BOLD enough to SPEAK on "WHO" GOD is using which is "Jesus". So we settle as being "co-signers"...we settle for being "Yes Men"... we settle with being "Scary Cats and Wimps"...we settle with being "You Say it "FOR" me" type of believers... that's what all that means when we are okay with saying "Oh, Yes You Better Speak Girl"..."Oh Yes Girrrl Won't He do it"...but that's IT!!
SAY HIS NAME.. WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??
It's NOT until we are BOLD enough to be proud of the relationship we have! It's NOT until we are BOLD enough to get an authentic relationship with Jesus! It's NOT until we are BOLD enough to develop our relationship, connect and get pass being the surface believer, get pass being the surface praiser, get pass the surface of an average relationship but DIG Deeper as a spiritual being!
That's when the "GLASS BOX" Opens!!!!