Why is it so cliché that new beginnings usually start at a New Year? I don’t know how many times I have used the slogan “New Year New Me” and get half way through the year and still feel like everything is the same o same o!
I wrote in my prayer journal the other night just venting about how I lost my drive and expressing to God that I feel stuck. I know how to pray but sadly it feels Hard to push out a prayer lately, I know I need to Fast to clear my mind from clutter and distraction but for some reason I can’t get my mind to be obedient and disciplined enough to do at least a one day Consecration. When I was writing, my words were just pouring out… I wrote on about 4 pages front and back pleading for God to give me guidance and take away this HEAVY spirit of Laziness and Defeat on my life. I thought about how 2018 is right around the corner and I envisioned how far I would have been in fulfilling my Purpose if I would have continued to be Obedient to God. If I would have stopped looking at the natural and stayed focused on the supernatural way God works. I really felt like Quitting! I felt like seriously stopping everything I had put my heart and soul into and just starting over from scratch with something not so difficult. I thought to myself “Why is walking in my Purpose so HARD?”
Lately a spirit of laziness and procrastination has overtaken me and I hate it! The laziness is horrible and the Procrastination has gotten out of control. Months ago, I would plan early all of the topics I wanted to write about, create social media content weeks ahead of time, stay up late preparing for the next day and plan all of my material for my website and blogs before time but now I seem to be pushing the clock just to send out an email by 11:59pm. THIS IS SO NOT ME! Quality Content takes time to develop and not only to develop but for God to anoint me with the right words that people need to read. I should never do a RUSH job on what God is putting inside of me, in order for Him to use me to get to His people. So, for that I come right now humbling myself and asking for “Forgiveness.”
Forgive me Jesus for thinking that what you are equipping me to do is for my gain, when it is NOT. It is for that ONE precious soul that needs you, that yearns for you and that desperately wants to develop a relationship with You but just doesn’t know where to start.
Forgive me Jesus for using your gifts carelessly. My writing ability is not my own but Yours! My creative mind is not my own but Yours. The anointing you have on my life is not by me but given by YOU!
Forgive me Jesus for wasting precious time and not being fully obedient to Your will and Your way!
With knowing that God forgives me, now I can tell myself “Come on… You have seen God Blow your mind before and it doesn’t take a New Year for Him to do it. Get it Together Girl!”
At this very moment it has clicked, it’s not New Year New Me… its “NEW DAY… NEW ME.” See, acknowledging when and where you are not glorifying God and not living to your full potential is a part of Growth and Maturity! Growth and Maturity is being able to acknowledge the mistakes you make and know that with God’s Love and Kindness once we ask for forgiveness genuinely and humbly then “IT IS DONE.”
I realized that now it is time for me to give credit where credit is due and then Pat my own self on the back and say “Job Well Done.” See, the credit goes to God Almighty all by Himself for putting a “seed” of Purpose inside of me and then I pat myself on the back because I may not have accomplished all of my goals but one thing I am proud of is that I “started.” I must stop beating myself up about goals that are not yet met because I have to remember that everything is in God’s Timing and I must pay attention to what God is already doing. I remember I used to make the excuse of not having a computer, well now God blessed me with a complete office setup with a desk, a 2 screen monitor desktop computer, WiFi printer/copier/scanner and all of the office supplies I could ever need. I used to make excuses of not having the training I needed, well now God blessed me to purchase (5) different online classes filled with videos, lectures and hands on practice for every area I felt like I was lacking knowledge in for only $10 a piece when they normally cost over $200.00/each. That’s NOTHING but God to have ALL of the extra help and training I need right at my fingertips. Lastly, I used to make excuses about not having the time, but now God blessed me with all of the time in the world to be an awesome wife, awesome mother and Rock out my entrepreneurship Lifestyle. So, I figured out what the problem is!
The problem is ME! The problem is that everything I have to help me is just sitting there! So, today I have decided to make everyday count with a “New Day… New Me” attitude adjustment! My beautiful little fancy planner that I was so proud of when I first bought it but I haven’t touched in 2 months is about to be brought back to life with me writing out each day the things that I will accomplish. I am not going to overload my brain with too much and get overwhelmed but I am going to take it slow and accomplish small tasks that overall will help me tackle the big ones.
Thank You Jesus for not allowing me to get stuck in the “what would have or could have been” and Focus on the Small Wins. The Small Win is getting back to the basics of putting God first before everything when I start my day. The small win is setting up a schedule so my 14 month old son and I can have a good stable routine during the day and he can work with me instead of me having to chase him around the house like a chicken with its head cut off saying “No, Karter… Stop, Karter” (He literally runs the show All Day) :)
So, this is a promise to God and myself ...My “New Day…New Me” starts NOW and not a cliché “New Year.” I know that because God is with me every step of the way these next 31 days will be my Best yet!